WillPatching.com

Running my own website has had the surprising bonus of filling my email inbox. Sadly I am not inundated with fan mail or fabulous offers from publishers… instead I am the target of numerous internet scams of varying sophistication.

I thought at first that I must have a gullible look about me as these scams seem totally transparent, but apparently I am merely a random target plucked from automatically generated mailing lists. Most of the scams I receive have been the subject of alerts posted on public awareness forums such as the link here.

My favourite scam first came to my attention in the early eighties – a few years before I had started using the internet. An airmail letter arrived in my letterbox and I was quite excited. Until I opened it. 

Purportedly the scruffy note inside was from a Nigerian diplomat who had secreted government funds in a local bank account and now needed someone ‘trustworthy’ like me to transfer his money to the UK, otherwise it would be confiscated. The letter was barely literate, looked as though it had been typed on an old ribbon fed typewriter before being chewed by a dog then posted. It went straight in the bin.

Nigeria 419

At the time I had never heard of the Nigerian 419 scam and did not recognise the modus operandi, but it has been one of the most common forms of mail fraud for decades, and these days it is as likely to originate in London as Lagos. The 419 got its name from the Nigerian penal code listing this type of advance fee fraud: the victim is conned into believing that he needs to stump up a relatively small amount of cash for ‘administrative purposes’ to release a much larger sum of money – which will then be split with him for his effort.

Of course, the large sum of money is merely bait, a fiction designed to hook into our greed. Unfortunately, the only outcome for any victim involved in this type of scam is the loss of maybe a few hundred pounds – or sometimes thousands of dollars – for the empty promise of millions to come.

Increasingly sophisticated 

Initially these attempts to con money from unsuspecting souls were littered with grammatical errors and lacked credibility, yet some people were still successfully relieved of their savings. These days the creative masterminds behind these schemes have become far more sophisticated and the plausibility of some of their offerings has reached new levels.

I have posted a few examples below for those of you unlucky enough never to have received emails from barely literate widows whose husbands had accumulated ill-gotten funds in the Ivory Coast, or bankers whose Iraqi clients died having secreted millions in oil revenues that now need to be released, or even from a fairly believable and admittedly corrupt ‘fund manager’ with Fidelity investments.

Corresponding with the conmen

The authorities recommend deleting 419 emails without responding to them, and generally I receive far too many to bother replying anyway. A couple tickled me and I just could not resist having a bit of fun with them.  The first was from this very religious ‘lady’ in Africa…

From: Mrs Rose Martins Toyo

Our Lord Jesus Christ is my only comforter.

I have the sum of Five million,One hundred thousand US Dollars($5.1m) The fund is presently deposited with a financial company for security reasons and all the documents concerning the fund are in the custody of my lawyer.

I inherited the money from my late husband who was an industralist and international businessman.I have prayed concerning this donation for God‘s guidance and if in your heart you geniunely and faithfully desire-to use this fund for the propagation of God‘s work in any form whether for charity, ministry evangelical work,building a Clinic, school, orphanage, library and drilling of water for the orphans, local community, widows, Old Aged, and people living with HIV AIDS who can not afford to pay for health, school and foodstuff or otherwise in relation to God‘s work,do get in -touch with me for further arrangements with my lawyer on how you will receive my Charity donation.

God bless you once again and as you receive,give and give God all the Glory. ‘My obligation is to do the right thing, the rest is in God‘s hands’ * One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life. Psalms 27:4, 8-9

Remain blessed in the Lord
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Rose Martins Toyo

Reply from: Will Patching

Well thank you!

I am not religious but would love to contact your lawyers to find out how they can help me spread love, compassion and education for those too poor to help themselves.

My own view is that water is the most important commodity - clean drinking water should be available to everyone worldwide and if I were to receive these funds I would use most of the money to provide it to the world’s poor.

Thank you for contacting me and I look forward to hearing from your lawyers.

Will

From: Barrister Peter Okwute :

ROYAL TRUST CHEMBERS AND COMMERCE ABIDJAN COTE D’ IVOIREWEST AFRICA
FROM THE DESK OF BARISTER:
ATTENTION:
Mrs Rose Toyo Martins sent an e-mail to me that i should contact you. What can i do for you?
Regard
Barister:
Peter Okwute
For the firm.Tel:+22509329382

Reply from: Will Patching

 Hi Peter

Good to hear from you as I tried to email you with no success. Perhaps there is an intermittent problem with your server? I hope this email arrives safely.

Apparently Mrs Rose Toyo wants to give me some money to help me support worthy causes. I am not religious, nor am I trustworthy and my expenses are quite high. However, if she feels that this feckless drunken atheist can be trusted with her $5.1m dollars I will happily make sure it is spent in a most worthwhile way.

Please let me know if there is something else you need from me. Perhaps you would like to visit me here in Thailand to complete the necessary paperwork. No doubt Mrs Rose will happily pay for your flight and hotel costs and I can arrange for some very friendly ladies to look after you, if you see what I mean.

By the way, Royal Trust Chambers is misspelt but that may be purely a translation issue. What language do you speak in Abidjan? Is your law degree from there or did you train at Harvard too?

I look forward to hearing from you,

Will

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Strangely Peter did not reply… Perhaps he realized he had misspelt his client’s name too!

As this letter contained a UK fax number I forwarded it to the UK police. They normally don’t get involved unless the victim actually loses money, but they do request information on these types of frauds when there is a traceable lead – as in this case. Contact them at fraud.alert@met.police.uk.

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Remember - not all fraudsters are as easy to spot as this one:

Hi Fidelity?

This one is very clever – the links to Fidelity’s site and ‘Tim’s cv’ at the end of the letter give the illusion that the sender really is part of the company.

From: Mr.Tim McCarron

E-mail : mr.tim_m02@yahoo.co.uk

Greetings,

I am a Fund Manager with Fidelity Investment UK and I handle all our Investor’s Capital Project Funds that enables me to divert 1.2% Investors Excess Return Capital Funds to our Magellan Trust Funds Account whereby anyone can be presented to claim the funds.

On this note, the total sum of US$60.5M has been diverted representing the 1.2% Excess Return Capital Funds from the Investor Capital Project Funds for 2005/2006. I need a reliable and trustworthy person that can work this deal out with me so that we can claim the funds as mentioned above.

There is no risk attached and the funds in question can never be dictated or traced. Our sharing ratio is 60:40.If you are interested, please send your direct telephone numbers for discussion of this deal in further details. I am counting on your sense of confidentiality, as it is my desire that you keep this business to yourself.

Anticipating to hearing from you.

Best Regards,

Mr.Tim McCarron.

www.fidelity.co.uk/wealthmanager/funds/europe/oeicsandunittrusts/european.html

www.fidelity.co.uk/wealthmanager/fundmanagercvs/pdfs/TMcCarron.pdf

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I forwarded this one to Fidelity – no strangers to these types of scam as a less sophisticated version had already hit their US offices in 2006. I also sent a copy to abuse@yahoo.co.uk.

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An offer of a partnership…

…with a man who can’t even spell his own name:

From: andren_smith2@hotmail.com

Dear Friend

This letter must come to you as a big surprise, but I believe it is only a day that people meet and become great friends and business partners. I am Mr. Andren Smith, currently Head of Corporate affairs with a reputable bank here I write you this proposal in good faith, believing that I can trust you with the information I am about to reveal to you.

I have an urgent and very confidential business proposition for you. On November 6, 2003, an Iraqi Foreign Oil consultant/contractor with the CHEVRON PETROLEUM CORPORATION, MR. KHALIL AL NASSER made a (Fixed deposit) for 36 calendar months, valued at US$17,500,000.00 (Seventeen Million Five hundred Thousand Dollars only) in my bank and I happen to be his account officer before I was moved to my present position recently. Upon maturity in 2005, as his account officer and as well the bank manger, it is my duty to notify him on the maturity date so I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but the letter was returned undelivered.

After sometime, I tried sending back the letter, but it was again returned and finally I discovered from his contract employers, Chevron Petroleum Corporation that Mr. Khalil Al Nasser died as a result of torture in the hand of Saddam Hussein (former Iraqi President) during one of his trips to his country Iraq, as he was accused of leaking information to the Americans.

On further investigation, I discovered that MR. KHALIL AL NASSER. family wife and two sons died during the Gulf War in Iraq and was the reason why he did not declare any next of kin or relation in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank and did not leave any WILL.

This sum of US$17,500,000.00 have been floating and placed under dormant/unserviceable account by my bank management since no one have heard from the owner since 2005. I wish to let you know that all the investigation I have made so far, my bank management is not aware of it, I am the only one that have the information.

With the recent change of government in my country and with their efforts to support the United Nations in check mating terrorism aid, the government will pass a new financial control law which will give the government authority to interrogate account owners of above $5.000. to explain the source of the funds, making sure it is not for terrorism support. If I do not move this money out of the country immediately, the government will definitely confiscate the money, because my bank cannot provide the account owner to explain the source of the money.

I cannot directly transfer out this money without the help of a foreigner and that is why I am contacting you for an assistance. As the Account Officer to late MR. KHALIL AL NASSER, coupled with my present position and status in the bank as Head of Retail Banking Group, I have the power to influence the release of the funds to any foreigner that comes up as the next of kin to the account, with the correct information concerning the account, which I shall give you.

All documents to enable you claim this fund will be carefully worked out and there is practically no risk involved, the transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law,
If you accept to work with me, I want you to state how you wish us to share the funds in percentage, so that both parties will be satisfied. If you are interested, contact me as soon as you receive this message so we can go over the details.

Thanking you in advance and may God bless you.

Please, treat with utmost confidentiality. I shall send you copy of the deposit certificate issued to Al Nasser when the deposit was made for your perusal.

I wait your urgent reply .
Regards,
Mr. Andren Smith.

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Reported to abuse@hotmail.com - this address can be used where there is the intent to defraud, or where an institution has been misrepresented.

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Born yesterday - again?

Meanwhile another group of conmen in Abidjan(?) came up with this gem:

From: Mary Mark

Dearest in Christ,

I am Mrs Mary Mark from Kuwait. I am married to Mr. Jerry Mark who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2002.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christian.

Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$4.5million dollars in a Bank here in Abidjan Cote d’Ivoire. Presently, this money is still in bank.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that “Blessed is the hand that giveth”. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence

I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that “the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace”. I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband’s relatives around me always. I don’t want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank here in Abidjan Cote d’Ivoire. I will also issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth.

Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein.
Hoping to receive your reply.

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs.Mary Mark

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Mary is probably a group of Ivory Coast students who have blitzed this letter to millions in the hope of catching a few mugs willing to stump up some cash. It may even be the same group who created Mrs Toyo/Martin above. I forwarded this one to abuse@yahoo.com.

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Phishing on behalf of the US government

This is not a 419 scam but is particularly interesting as I am not even a US taxpayer – in fact I never have been and never will be. They just want information for an attempt at identity theft, and no doubt some US citizens will be suckered.

From: Internal Revenue Service

Internal Revenue Service (IRS)
United States Department of the Treasury

Dear Taxpayer,

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $184.80.

Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 6-9 days in order to process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.

To access the form for your tax refund, use the following personalized link:

http://0×7C.0×3.0×3A.0×85/www.irs.gov/taxrefund.php

Regards,
Internal Revenue Service

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This one is just trying to get me to give them my bank account details and my social Security number. The fact I am not a US citizen merely confirms the random nature of these types of approach.

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Microsoft software - a lottery?

Finally, this phishing scam from ‘Microsoft’ with my reply:

Subject: Congratulations!!

MICROSOFT HOUSE PRESCOT, LONDON E1 8RP. UNITED KINGDOM.
REF NO: M154S/WL06.
MICRO (LOTTERY) CHIP NO: 9465206

Dear Mr/Mrs/Sir/Madam:

Today, we announce the 10 lucky winners of the MICROSOFT NEW YEAR LOTTERY PROGRAM held on 27th of Febuary 2008. Your company or your personal e-mail address, attached to the Chip Number: 8977742, won in the First lottery category 001.

Your email address has brought you an unexpected luck, please read through this message. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of 1,000,000 GBP (One Million Great Britain Pounds) in cash credited to file MSW/9 080118 3 08/02/LA.This is from a total cash prize of 10.000,000 GBP (Ten Million Great Britain Pounds) shared amongst the ten (10) lucky winners.

Contact Person:chambers_teddywilliams@yahoo.co.uk
Barrister Teddy Williams
Fax.:+448704783718Do email or call the above mentioned person,
Best Regards,
Mrs. Edlyn Albert
Secretary

My reply to ‘Barrister’ Teddy

Ooh, yes please!
How much do I need to send you to claim my winnings - or do you just want all my on-line banking details?
Thank you so much as I am a destitute alcoholic. No doubt I will drink myself to death. Can’t wait.

Yours in breathless anticipation.

Will Patching

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Funnily enough I got no answer Barrister Teddy… however, I also reported this one to the police and Yahoo. Let’s hope he’s heard back from them! 

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Link:

The best site logging these types of fraud actually turned the tables on one scammer and managed to get him to send money to the ‘victim’ - really! Check it out at http://www.scambuster419.co.uk/.